Alice is Pregnant

FADE IN:

INT. THE BRADY HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

The whole Brady family is sitting in the living room, eagerly waiting for Alice to arrive. They are all talking amongst themselves, trying to guess who the father of Alice’s baby could be.

MARCIA (sneaking a beer): I bet it’s one of those young studs she’s been talking to at the bar.

CINDY: Marcia, you’re not supposed to drink beer. It’s bad for the baby.

MARCIA: Relax, Cindy. I’m just having a little fun.

PETER: I don’t think it’s any of those guys at the bar. I think it’s Sam.

BOBBY: Sam? Alice’s boyfriend? That’s crazy.

ALICE (entering the room): Hey, everybody.

Everyone turns to see Alice, who is noticeably pregnant.

GREG: Hey, Alice. How are you feeling?

ALICE: I’m feeling great, Greg. Thanks for asking.

CAROL: So, Alice, we’ve all been trying to guess who the father of your baby is. Care to enlighten us?

ALICE: (smiling) Well, the truth is, it could be one of several men. I’ve been going to bars and meeting a lot of guys lately.

SAM: (entering the room) Alice, I’m sorry I’m late. I got caught up at work.

Alice and Sam hug, and the rest of the family exchanges looks.

MARCIA: (whispering to Greg) Hey, do you have any more of that stuff?

GREG: (whispering back) Yeah, I got some in my room.

MARCIA: (smiling) Awesome.

CUT TO:

INT. GREG’S ROOM – DAY

Greg hands Marcia a bag of cocaine and heroin.

GREG: Marcia, I don’t think this is a good idea.

MARCIA: (smiling) Oh, come on, Greg. It’s just a little harmless fun.

Greg looks worried but hands Marcia a mirror and a straw.

CUT TO:

INT. THE BRADY HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Alice is sitting on the couch, and the rest of the family is gathered around her, trying to guess who the father of the baby is. Marcia walks in, noticeably drunk and high.

MARCIA: (laughing uncontrollably) Hey, everybody. What’s going on?

CAROL: Marcia, are you drunk?

MARCIA: (smiling) No, Mom. Just having a little fun.

PETER: (whispering to Bobby) She’s definitely drunk.

Bobby nods in agreement.

ALICE: (smiling) Marcia, are you feeling okay?

MARCIA: (laughing) Yeah, I feel great.

GREG: (whispering to Marcia) Hey, you need to calm down. You’re making a scene.

MARCIA: (smiling) Sorry, Greg. I just can’t stop laughing.

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. Alice gets up to answer it, and the Harlem Globetrotters walk in.

HARLEM GLOBETROTTER 1: Hey, Alice. We heard you had a baby.

ALICE: (smiling) Yes, I did.

HARLEM GLOBETROTTER 2: Well, let’s see the little guy.

Alice hands the baby to the Harlem Globetrotters, who start arguing about which one the baby looks like.

MARCIA: (laughing uncontrollably) This is hilarious.

FADE OUT